"If you attempt to create a special sanctuary one day of the week that is far different from the home environment the other six days, it may not bode well with your family. Going from one extreme to another would be difficult on a weekly basis, but maintaining a high standard of behavior and surroundings all week long will make the transition into the Sabbath Day natural."
The above quotation is from an article for thirdhour.org
Let's talk about "High Standard Behavior"
As Latter-day Saints, we have always stood out from the crowd. In middle school, I gave Sister Mrs. Spencer a Christmas gift that she assumed we made at church (we didn't, Mom, Dad, and I handmade a bunch of wooden stars to give to the teachers that year) and it got her thinking about her days as a member. Low and behold, my math teacher shows up at church a little while later, bears her testimony on a Fast Sunday and next thing I know, gets a calling. I often wonder if she could tell from the rest of my behavior that I was a member.
In high school, we were lucky. We had each other a lot of the time, but North Iredell actually had most of the Statesville Ward youth--I think at one time there were 10 of us. Did the other students know that we were members of the church, without us saying we were members? I am sure there are times when we represented Jesus well--and of course times we didn't (we were teenagers, after all).
My point---we are to be set apart. Many scriptures come to mind, here are few:
1 Peter 2:9--But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light:
Doctrine and Covenants 100:16--For I will raise up unto myself a pure people, that will serve me in righteousness;
Doctrine and Covenants 115:5-- Verily I say unto you all: Arise and shine forth, that thy light may be a standard for the nations;
If we are to be a set apart people, there is a standard of behavior that is to be maintained--and I believe that we can break this into three locations: our homes, our church buildings, public places.
HOME
When I thought about a high standard of behavior at home, it reminded me of the times I visited friends' houses and how I felt at those houses. There were homes were I felt safe and loved and there were homes where I felt nervous or out of place. Since I have grown older, and have worked to make a house a home in three different places, I have had a chance to think about what made the homes different.
First: what you allow into your home will affect the mood of people in the home. Are you listening to music that makes you feel mad? Does it have bad language? Are you reading books that are inappropriate? Are you watching shows and movies that have bad morals or highlight behavior you don't want your children to participate in such as talking back to parents or screaming? Do you play video games that promote violence and fighting?
Second: the way we treat our spouses will be an example to our children as how to treat their future spouse. What comes to mind is being mindful of arguing. I believe it is healthy for our children to see conflict resolutions--are we going to get frustrated with our spouse in front of our kids? Of course. The way that we handle that argument will be key to them understanding marriage dynamics--so it's worth discussing with your spouse how you would want to handle a situation like that (preferably BEFORE the heat of the moment.) They will emulate our examples in how we talk to each other; they will talk to their siblings and to us the same way. I found that those were the homes I was most uncomfortable--when my friends would talk to their parents in what I viewed as "talking back" and completely disrespectful was normal conversation for them. (I feel like I should mention that most, if not all of those friends' parents are now divorced). Communication in a healthy, respectful way changes the feeling of a home. It can invite the Spirit, or it can chase it away.
CHURCH BUILDINGS
In my specific location in Utah, there are almost 10 temples within an hour's drive--so you can imagine how many ward buildings and stake centers there are. (And in each of those, at least three wards meet!) It is a source of great joy to me to walk out of our swim school on Tuesdays and look right up at the Angel Moroni on the top of the Jordan River Temple (not our temple district) and have Lou pull my hand and say, "Mama! Look Angel Moroni! And do you know what he is holding? It's a trumpet, Mama! Do, Do, Doo!" I only fear that she will think the blessing of going to the temple is not as much of a privilege because of ease of access. However, it does let me talk about how we behave in the temple quite often and without it being an awkward segue. We do have a chance to help our children practice to have a high standard of behavior that they will refer to when they finally attend the temple. That chance occurs every single time we walk into a normal ward building. Our ward buildings are dedicated buildings built and blessed to invite the Spirit. How are we helping to keep the Spirit in the meeting? Are we on our cell phones? Are we insisting on whispers and walking not running? These are simple things that can be done to keep the Spirit in the meeting--remember, it is the Spirit that bears witness that what the speaker is saying is true. It is our part to make sure we can hear that witness.
PUBLIC PLACES
This was a fun one to think about. Mom sent me an article entitled: 12 Manners Older Generations Were Taught As Children that itemizes manners that are becoming lost on the younger generation--not so much in the South, though, with our "Yes, Ma'am" and "No, Sir." If we are to be "a peculiar people," one of the easiest ways to spot a member is in how they talk to people who are not their family. Check out the article for some reminders on good, old fashioned, respectable manners.
Manners are going to come up everywhere! When we were little kids, there were only four of us, Mom and Dad had a lesson on "How to behave at a restaurant."
Mom tells the story: We had an FHE "eat at a restaurant" night. I lit candles and informed you all that you absolutely will not blow them out . We had music on in the background (not at Dad's volume!!) Then we learned to sit quietly and eat a small bowl of soup that I served. Then I cleared the bowls and we took turns talking and listening. I brought dinner on plates and served each of you. Then everyone stayed seated until I cleared the plates. Seems the hardest thing to do was not blow out the candles the whole time!! Then when we did [go to a restaurant], you guys were so well behaved, an elderly couple bought you all ice cream for dessert!
See? Even outside of church, "church going kids" can be recognized.
As we practice having a high standard of behavior, let's remember that in part of our baptismal covenant, we promised to take upon ourselves the name Jesus. Are we doing everything we can, everywhere we are, to make sure to uphold that part? I hope so. Because the promise "that they may always have his Spirit to with them," is one promise I can't live without.
Brandee Merkley
